Asshole of the Month #3: The_NOODLER

Imagine… being a toxic, racist troll and exposing this to thousands of people online every day.

Meet: The_NOODLER on the NA Server.

He seems to be a VERY prolific player. Now, math is not one of my strengths but it looks like 216 rounds of tanks in 24 hours. That seems excessive.

Here is an excerpt from my recent run-in with The_Noodler.


(ME) can you just play tanks and not be a troll?

The_Noodler (MT-25): i do not troll

The_Noodler (MT-25): nigga

The_Noodler (MT-25): fuck u pedos lmao

The_Noodler (MT-25): we need to nuke Canada

The_Noodler (MT-25): I ain’t surprised, u blahks (sic) worship the pedo r kelly

The_Noodler (MT-25): look! KV is TROLL...

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Asshole of the month: Sep 2023 – 2nd nomination goes to pastmadmonkey

Another troll player intentionally throwing matches.

This asshole announces at battles start: limit prem (gold) ammo (capacity) and ban gold spammers OR I camp/drown all battles.

And based on his recent stats: he’s serious.

37% recent winrate.

He camped the entire battle on Sand River only to become the last survivor on the team and he refused to hunt/kill the last enemy tank alive.

Just tooled around on the map running the clock down. A complete asshole and epic troll.

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Asshole of the month: Sept 2023 – goldman69

My new favorite North American World of Tanks player is goldman69.

I’ve run into this asshole twice in the last few days. Both times, in pre-battle chat, he exclaims (in all caps) that he’s running full HE in his Scharzpanzer 58.

And, in both battles, he seems to be firing ineffectively at large targets. Shooting 6 times. Hitting 3, and accomplishing 60 damage.

His win rate isn’t spectacular. It shows 38% win rate on WOTLABS with a WN8 of 34.

He appears to have played over 62k battles of WoT, 55 in the last 24 hours.

He plays 2 tanks: Schwarzpz. 58 and Skota T 40… but almost exclusively the German tank.

This person intentionally tries to lose every battle he can and appears to have been doing this for years.

Today’s battle...

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Fun Ace and Radley-Walters’s in American tier 7 reward TD

Paris – Standard battle, top tier. Feels like cheat mode in the T28 HTC.

This was a fun round for me. I just pressed W and kept firing until all the tanks were dead!

This TD is a tough one. I took 8 hits but only one penetration.

Meanwhile, I racked up 3,420 damage with 8 Kills total from 13 penetrating shots.

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Asshole of the Year: Cdeeznuts (NA)

A reroll account with 81 battles.

Bought the K-2 and sits at the redline doing nothing.

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Ace Tanker: UDES 03

Nice round on Lakeville, bottom tier against the big dogs.

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First Ace in WZ-120-1 FT: ~5k damage!

Almost never play this vehicle these days but pulled it out on a whim today. Got matched up with tier 9 tanks on Studzianki – Standard battle and almost immediately lost half my HP playing ‘scout’ due to our scouts being dumb. Go figure?

Came down to my, a Bourrasque, and an asshole in an AE Phase I (he whined about the scouts and redline camped until nearly the end).

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Ace Tanker: GSOR 1008 – Prokhorovka!

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Ace Tanker – Top Gun + High Caliber: Strv m/42-57 (tier 6)

Fisherman’s Bay – Standard battle – unfortunately, it was a loss. There’s only so much an average player can do when the team is shit.

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Surprise Ace Tanker: ShPTK-TVP 100

This was fun AND a win on Safe Haven (not my favorite map).

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